I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
