The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
