people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
