He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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