JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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