I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
