I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
