Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
