you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
