so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize