if only i could text you this smell
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
