similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
