I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
