we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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