ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
