I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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