so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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