I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
