He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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