i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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