She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
