I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize