any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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