bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize