worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
