i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
