At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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