Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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