I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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