My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
