im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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