i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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