I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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