I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
