Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
