She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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