Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This baby is an asshole
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
