brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
