the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
