put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
