it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
