i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
