I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize