Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
