I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
