I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
