I love black thongs
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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