he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
