My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
