he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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