i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
