she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
