another moral hangover. fuck.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
whose ass print is on the piano?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
