Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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