Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
