We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
