So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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