I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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