I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I love having hate sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
